My Cancer Chronicles, Vol. 5: Cancer Sucks
The Latest Updates
Cancer sucks. I know that is not exactly breaking news, but it’s the thought that consumed my mind this week. We continued to deal with the fallout from my first round of chemo, mainly trying to manage the nausea and vomiting that continued from last week. After numerous tweaks and trials, we think we finally have the correct medicines to manage the worst of it. My schedule is like that of a newborn baby, with drugs replacing feeding and napping every 90 minutes. We also visit the infusion center every other day for hydration, steroids and IV nausea meds, which has helped immensely. Even with all of the above, the nausea is a constant presence.
Cancer really is a full-time job. On top of managing the side effects, we’ve been dealing with insurance, bills, planning for the next round of chemo — all things that fall in the “cancer sucks” bucket.
My attitude since the diagnosis has been pretty positive — I’m thankful that we caught the cancer when we did, for my amazing support network, for the doctors and nurses navigating this path with me. But this week was just not that. My positivity was replaced by anger and sadness at all the things we’re facing and the loss of my autonomy. My body is no longer my body — it’s a machine, with one singular purpose. My mind is no longer my mind — it’s a clouded mess that constantly rings “cancer.” I no longer find comfort in the normal places, no matter how desperately I try.
Before you worry too much, I’m convinced these feelings are pretty superficial. I have an amazing therapist who is helping me navigate the mental and emotional side of this battle and I’m confident that in the midst of these downs I’ll be able to find myself again.
But for now, all I can say is cancer sucks.
From Katie’s Sister-in-Law: The Food Train
Hello everyone! I am Lindsay, Katie’s Indiana sister-in-law. Katie and our family are so grateful for your support through the last few weeks. This first round of chemo has proven to be more demanding than any of us would have anticipated. Between medicine schedules and trips to the cancer center for infusions, the hours of the day seem to pass without time for necessary tasks like meal prep. To try to help relieve some stress, I have set up a Meal Train for a few weeks following Katie’s next round of chemo. If you do not live near Katie, I have listed options for you to have meals delivered to them through GrubHub or UberEats.
We are not sure what will happen for next steps, which is why there are currently only a few weeks scheduled. However, we know that there will be a need for meals again when Katie has surgery, so if you cannot sign up this time but would like to help, please know more opportunities are coming.
We are so thankful for all of you!
Lindsay
P. S. I was going to do dog of the week, but Katie restricted me to this area of the blog.
Weekly Roundup: Mom’s Edition
Song of the Week: Sadly, this has been a pretty quiet week. But I have found comfort in I Won’t Give Up by Jason Mraz. It’s a song I’ve used for a while to find my “safe space” — something I learned in therapy — and boy have I needed my safe space this week.
Cat of the Week: Audrey Hepburn has been the snuggliest, sweetest ding dong in the world this week, so she gets the honor.
This week, I’m grateful for: Eggo waffles, snail mail and IV nausea medication.
This week, I could have done without: The dreary weather that seems to be coming straight from my mood.
How can I help? See above.
Love always.
Katie
Dear Katie, I wrote to your mom last week as she wrote, but got issues with been subscribed and able to sent it... wanted just to tell her that I see you as a shining sun! I know cancer does sucks when dealing it in a daily basis. I am so happy to hear you still in therapy as your body is moving and feeling angry or with fear, or just sick. I will keep sending my love from the bottom of my heart every day!
Thanks for these updates. I can imagine how hard it is to have the energy to write, but know that its effect on your readers is powerful. We all want the opportunity to support you on this journey so thanks for keeping us updated with your writing (and that of your mom's and sister in law!).