My Cancer Chronicles, Vol. 8: Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

The Latest Updates

As with many things in life, cancer is full of of twists and turns — two steps forward, one step back, a step to the right, hop over a sinkhole, etc. And that’s exactly where my journey took me this week.

Last week, we got the great news that the chemo was working. My tumors shrunk — one by 33% and another by 66%! (No, I didn’t do the math. Don’t be silly. My math teacher sister-in-law did.)

Unfortunately, the joy didn’t last long before it was overtaken by pain and fear. Over the weekend, a new batch of chemo symptoms popped up. Every time I would move, my heart rate would spike, leaving me dizzy and gasping for air. I couldn’t stand on my own without my legs threatening to buckle. Trips from the couch to the bathroom were agony. When we reported the symptoms to my care team, we were told that they were all part of the chemo experience. Shockingly, that didn’t make them any easier to deal with as the symptoms worsened the days the followed. (If I haven’t responded to a text, email, social media message, etc., my inability to focus my eyes is the reason why.)

A few days after these symptoms began, I got a call from my oncologist with some news. Instead of moving to surgery as we had hoped, he told me that the cardio thoracic team wanted me to do two additional rounds of chemo.

My heart broke with that news. I couldn’t even process it enough in the moment to ask intelligent questions, like … why? The basic explanation — the chemo is working so let’s keep going — just isn’t enough for this journalist. We’re still waiting on answers to our questions.

This is not the news we wanted. Not by a long shot. But it’s the news we got. So we’re soldiering on.

I am happy to report that my symptoms finally seem to be waning. I’m hopeful that we’re going into a good week, one with more steps forward than back.

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Weekly Prayer/Good Vibe Request

• Please give Katie’s body the strength it needs to handle two more rounds of chemo.

• Please allow for productive conversations between Katie and her care team regarding their goals for these two additional rounds of chemo.

• Please let it be a good week for Katie and her family as they prep for these next six weeks of treatment.

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Weekly Roundup

• Song of the Week: Falling by Harry Styles. Harry is just the cutest. Clips from his concerts bring me such joy. Before I got sick, Tim & I booked a trip to Paris (my favorite place) for this upcoming June, where my dream of seeing Harry Styles live would become a reality. Unfortunately, with the new schedule, it’s clear we won’t be able to make that trip. It’s hard not to be disappointed in all the things cancer has stolen from me, but dwelling on that just gives this disease more power than it deserves.

• Cat of the Week: Audrey Hepburn is bringing home the victory! Our most independent cat proved that she’s there for me, in her own little ways.

• This week, I’m grateful for: True crime documentaries, supportive bosses, friends who babysit their sick friends and my new pizza hat.

  

• This week, I could have done without: The major shift in the plan. (To be fair, that’s true literally all the time. I’m not great with change.)

• How can I help? My sweet sister-in-law is adding some dates to our Meal Train over the weekend for the upcoming chemo weeks. It’s such a relief after long days at the cancer center to come home to a meal that we didn’t have to plan for or think about, so any support there is greatly appreciated.

Love, always.

Katie

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